-Tuesday, February 28, 2006-4:58:00 PM Y
here i am again..back!!!now im feeling more alive than before..
danceworks 2006..i got it done and over with..so glad..and thts the event tht help me find someone new..i mean not on the day itself..itz way way before tht..during practises..
im upset tht none of my frens turn up..to at least support..where were they??
talking abt this gerl..shes a lil bit older than me..but who cares..hmm..
for the first time i saw her..i thot she one bitch who thinks shes beautiful(sorry dear..but now i noe u r..u asked for a first impression..so tht it is..)i thot shes one gerl who thinks shes so good..but actually shes humble after i came for a few more practises..shes not only a little older..shes doin nursing too..but graduating soon..all the best dear..shes always disturbs me coz i still have one more yr to go..haha..shes so cute..
one day..i decided to tell her tht i have a crush on her..but my purpose was just to let her noe..i didnt noe tht this wud strt sumthing..n now i think we like each other..(thinking of u..mis u baby)
i thot i wudnt have this chance coz i thot shes dating other guys..but..hmm...i duno..hehe
tht day aftr danceworks..she,me and anoder of our fren slack at ct hall..i got to noe sumthing..
n now im so worried abt her..(damn she off her fone..)watever happens to her..if she ever gets hurt i'll make sure tht guy feel her pain..im really gona do it..n i dun FUCKING care..burn his bike ke vandalise ke..i'll make sure he regrets it..he sounds more like a pirate than who i noe he is..fucker..it'll be a pleasure vandalising u..(im strting to get werried..where cud she be?dun tell me she lost out again..please...on ur fone..)
well..ive strted my attachmnt..so ive been busy..now i juz got my comp fixed..all thks to eddy...i'll pay u up ed..dun u weri..
attachment has been okay for me..learning sumthing new everyday..tiring..havent got much things signed yet..im so dead..like cant be bothered to get things signed..
my life has been so nursing nowadays..wheres all my brothers?i hope to see you guys this saturday at work..i miss u all..
d.d has kept herself silence...so as lady-E...well i manage to go on..without even having to have the itchy hands to sms them..good buk!!
well now im goin to set my motives..firstly..ive learnt frm my mistakes..nvr to let go..wen sumone loves u..well..i was stupid..now i have to get out of the trap and rebuild my dreams.. rebuild it wit sumone new..
secondly...i wanna stop smoking unless im offered..hehe..social smoker mah...hehehei wanna strt collecting my money for my motor practicals..and strt slowly to save my money for a motorbike..im left out..most of my frens got their bike oready..except me n one more of my fren..well..im really gonna save up..have to stop spending too much on unnecessary things..
lastly..i hope things would werk out between me n her..uve been making me smile gerl..all day long..but at the same time im worried abt u now..why u off ur fone?
Skulls are love'd
-Monday, February 20, 2006-12:35:00 AM Y
life has been weird..as days past..my life..hmm..funny..money probs..to like sum1..hmm..
nana has been quiet..so thts gd..i aint gonn be bad..not anymore..i wanna chnge for the better..
d.d...hmm..she too..so very quiet..but she did sms me wen im doin my attachmnt..on monday..
gd oso la..at least i get to let loose abit..tkya nk stress2 sngt..im doin myself harm..stupid bUK!!
dance dance-nonstop..it seems everydae ive been dancing..fun so far..coz get to see her..i shall not clarify more on tht..mayb nxt time..
attachmnt..hmm..
+monday13feb2006..didnt do anything at all..i only rmbred standing at the door of the cubicle je..da mcm security guard..haha..sum1 frm my grp broke sumting in my cubicle.and it so importnt..
+tuesday14feb2006..V day!!i made flowers for the gerls in my group..sara n pah got to noe n dey want one too..haha..mati guek..nnti la korang..after werk i went home..n tukar..go dance..den go sumwhere to sit.(.i wrote abt tht onthe last posting)
+wednesday15feb2006...lucky i had things to do..if not i end up doin nothing at all..haha..im glad i get to do sumthing..total defence day!!!
+thursday16feb2006..keje ptg..so i woke up late..woke up at 1130..rush to cook my dinner..n then mandi la..so i was juz in time for werk..wasnt late..lucky!!phew!
+friday17feb2006..i get to werk mornin..got to chge my schedule..hehe..quite bz..
+saturday18feb2006..i werk at 11am...CHIJMES...i was late..came wit ridhuan..took a bus..hehe.wan had fun sleeping in the bus..he went to buy a shoe b4 werk..den bought makan.. lunch function strts at 12pm..the function was quite simple..ended at arnd 145-2pm..
turn over time!!!dgn pantas...kite rush giler babi...we manage to finish by 445..so..it was a long break for us..hehe..dinner ends at 11plus..i stayed alone while man n the rest of my brothers balek..so i had no buddies except for mason..i finish'd werk at 2am..so tired..SHACK!!!i reach'd hm at 3 plus..coz i took a cab home..maybe the transport left witout me..so bad...
for now i wil try my best to do sumthing to get over ejah..i must..
i think i like sumone..but she doesnt noe..i think so..very the sweet looking girl..hmm..i aint gonna do anything yet..nothing abt it yet..juz keep it low..well peeps..i gtg..im so sleepy n tired..my uniform is still on my chair..not yet ironed..die..
to the girl i like..i hope tht u too believes tht love cant be force..forced love is not called love..its fake love..nvr force to look..love in free.......
gdnytey nyte2..
slpytytey tyte2..
signing off my deadlove!!!
Skulls are love'd
-Wednesday, February 15, 2006-12:13:00 AM Y
14 feb...
valentines day..i made 11 flowers for the girls in my clinical group..as i got nobody to celebrate wit..so i decided to do such stupid deeds tht dun gain anything except thks...
dancewerkz..2weeks..26 feb..fariz said im doin good so far..juz need to brush up n practise..weird though..coz i thot i suck..
crying otw bck..i felt a sharp pain in my chest..i endured n endured..keep quiet..i got dwn at simei..huuh??!!!i dun understnd why myslf..my legs walk'd me to memories...memories tht i shud have forget..its almost a yr..now im sitting at the playgrnd..where i use to sit wit her evrynyte after her werk..talkin crap..disturbing one anoder..lying dwn side by side..u feeding me the meals u brought home..snap out of it!!and now in reality..ur gone..wit sum1 else..juz bcoz of my stupid fucking mistake...stupid me!!!now ive regretted it!!!
to the stairs i go..sat there for a while..I love you..haiz..
walked home..crying all the way..itz so painful..
singing to i wont see u tonight..walking alone by myself..itz so painful..
i shall not go any further...as im in breaking down position..so broke dwn..im hungry..but i dun wanna eat...
yayang..not yet replaced..ouch!!memories..i miss you!!
MR dEAdlOvE
Skulls are love'd
-Saturday, February 11, 2006-2:44:00 PM Y
I'm All About You
There's somethin' that
I've got to say
You're always with me
Even though, you're far away
Talkin to you on my cell
Just the sound of your voice
Makes my heart melt
Oh girl, well it's true
I'm all about you
I'm all about us
No, baby, you never have
To question my love
And every night
There's a new crowd
But it's always you
That I'm singing about
There is only one these words
Are going out to
Oh girl, I'm all about you
I know you worry sometimes,
Some other girl will make me forget you're mine
There's not a doubt in this world
That anyone could take the
Place of my number one girl
It's true
I'm all about you
I'm all about us
No, baby, you never have
To question my love
And every night
There's a new crowd
But it's always you
That I'm singing about
There is only one these words
Are going out to
Oh girl, I'm all about you
When i close my eyes i can see you
It's like your right here
And this feeling's only gettin' stronger
You're with me everywhere
I'm all about you
I'm all about us
No, baby, you never have
To question my love
And every night
There's a new crowd
But it's always you
That I'm singing about
There is only one these words
Are goin' out to
Oh girl, I'm all about you
I'm all about you
I'm all about you
I'm all about you
I'm all about you....
Skulls are love'd
--2:38:00 PM Y
NICKELBACK LYRICS
"Far Away"
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,you know, you know
[CHORUS]That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,you know, you know
[CHORUS]
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Skulls are love'd
--1:52:00 PM Y
yeah..finally i got my dance moves right..but only the first part for now..hehe.. aini begged me to dance..so i have to now..watever happens im gonna try it..theres owaes a first time to everything..but not drinkin'..i aint gonna drink..i promise myself tht..yucks!!!!
i miss sumone..and i hate it to be this way..sucks!!!why do i have to go thru all this pain..i've live with regrets each and everyday..well im gonna make myself look more gothic..getting less sleep..applyin' eyeliner...soon i'll really be lookin' like a dead man..haha
hmm..yesterday..the show went well..we njoy'd..the teachers njoy'd..the students njoy'd too..im glad then..we did it!!mrs neo told us tht she'll slot us in for a performance on the nxt day which is today..hahaha..today's performance..suck!!mendak segalez!!!weak ah..but i hope MR YATIMAN likes it..hehe..
d.d..was online late last nyte..hmm..she juz came bck frm werk..haiz..papela..wad the hell is wrong wit me..i dunno late d.d..i myself dun have my own explaination..
i'd rather kil myself..but i cant..i dun believe in suicide..hahhaha..theres oways a way out to every prob...haiz..FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
"y"..hmm..i wish i cud turn back time..i wish i shudnt have done tht to u..i wish u cud feel my pain instead of me goin thru ur cries each n evry day..its painful..
Skulls are love'd
-Wednesday, February 08, 2006-7:01:00 PM Y
Aisyah gave diz to me..she made it herself..soldering..i appreciate it!!
My sis made this for me..she include those two pic in it..
Skulls are love'd
--4:21:00 AM Y
hmm..yesterdae..
i went to skool to meet up wit THE FANTASTIC 4..gotta empty our lockers..actually their lockers..hehehe..i was there coz dey say dey wann a meet up..we miss each other..hehe..cute la u gals..
nya woke me up at 11am..she smsed me..den called...i woke up...i called her back..she said they r meeting at 130pm..
but u noe wat time they were in skool?3pm..hahaha..nvm..i was late coz i knew they wud be..
so after tht i had to go to werk to get my vouchers..my pay baby!!haha..98bux in da pocket..
i still owe aza half a hundred dollars..after last nyte..im left wit 72bux now..
after collecting my pay..i went to meet up THE FANTASTIC 4 again..at LJS..
there...I got a slap from nya..n i duno for wat reason..
den we made a move to bugis junction..on the escalator..anoder slap..from sara..wathehell iz wrong witz thiz pple..hahaha...but nvm..was juz an accident..
den we took neos...love it..
frm bugis to esplanade...took pics...at esplanade..they surprised me wit a burfdae cake..so sweet of u gals...nice cake..coffee..but we shared coz i cudnt finish it all..we went to the bumbon of the ESPLANADE..took more pics..
and then..there was firewerks!!!hahaha
sara,syafa n nya left first..i left slightly later..smoke a couple of cigarettes..den i left..
still i m sad abt duno wat..i duno wats bothering me..i smsed sumone...haiz..im so sad..haiz..im still bleeding inside..deep dwn inside..im stil crying..still crying out my heart..wen will my tears dry out..
cocks a gun..points it to my head..and shoots...damn..now im dead........
deadlove..
d.d was online..i check'd my tagboard..
there she left a msg..saying sorry..no need gerl..deres no need for a sorry..i understnd..
to the gerl i smsed yesterdae..i hope ur happy wit ur tiger..im hanging..trying to replace u.. trying very hard..itz almost one year since we broke up...but i still have u in mind..i rmbrd u on my bdae..i was crying wen i was up..last year..u were there by my side spending time wit me..on my special day..how i wish things didnt turn out tht way..how i wish i was still wit u..ive been goin on wit regrets if u wanna noe..im living wit regrets..biggest regrets..ive nvr felt this way..
regrets.................................
Skulls are love'd
--12:59:00 AM Y
dIz wAs On thE cOvEr..
As thOUgh prEtEndIng tO bE UshEr..
I jUst....
my hAIr..kEEpIn' thE frIngE..
EvE of mY bUrfdAE..OUtsIdE my wErkplAcE wAItIng fOr mY bUddIEs..
19th bUrfdAE cAkE!!
A trEAt!!my twIn trEAtEd mE tO swEnsEn On my bdAE!!
rElAx bAbE!!wE'rE jUz tIrEd aftEr rEhEArsEl...
In thE rEflEctIOns...
mE n fYz my twIn
wE @ cArltOn hOtEl..mAn's sIs gOt It fOr uS..
wAt thE hEll ArE wE dOIng!??hAhA
230Am..goin to thE KOPITIAM..
In the lIft
OUtsIde OUr cOrrIdOr
wEAkEst lInkS!!!
min's pit..wonderin' whoz min?he's man's cuzzin...hahaha
oooooooOOOOO!!!
gOttA gO sAvE thE dAE!!!wAIt fOr mE rObIn!!
my bAg
my slIppErs
mE In skOOl tOIlEt..
wE wErE sUppOsEd tO stUdy...hehe
thEy ArE thE fAntAstIc 4..thEy gIvE mE hEAdAchEs in skOOl At tImEs..bUt thEy r jUz OnE bUncH Of mY gOOd frEnZ In skOOl..ROX!!
Skulls are love'd
-Tuesday, February 07, 2006-3:35:00 AM Y
Aerosmith-i dun wanna miss a thing
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
I don't want to miss a thing
Skulls are love'd
--12:52:00 AM Y
4th feb
Eve of 19 burfdae:strts werk @ 7..but i was in @ 8..hehehe..werk is easy todae..i finish'd werk at 1pm..and got 2 hrs to chill..so i "check-in" into a hotel room..watch some tv..hehehe..first was last samurai..then duno wat movie ntah..got tim allen..funny!!syiok!!
after werk i had to go to lakeside coz got dance practice..damn the pple..rupenye tukar plan..so i had to go back all the way to ct hall..hahaha..got to learn to dance...but still body is stiff..i have difficulties..
this cute gerl in my grp,aini..hmm..fuck it buk!no more nonsense..weird thing is tht ive nvr seen her in sch..cute giler..her burfdae's after mine..6feb..ok..just got this b-boys..ask for her no but u noe wat..she turn them down..dance abes at 9pm..
i went to buy LJS food then make my way to Esplanade..chill sorang2...ramai sey org..got CHINGAY..thts y..smsed mizy and wal..so i meet them and jay too after their werk..went home wit them..
COUNTING DWN.................
Skulls are love'd
--12:33:00 AM Y
HATE IT
*i hate you..
i hate me..
i hate my dad..
i hate sad..
*i wanna cry..
to cure my pain..
i wanna cry..
coz no one cares..
*i hate the way u lie to me..
i hate the way u talk to me..
i hate the looks in ur eyes..
eventhough they r so lovely..
*i wanna be by myself..
i wanna be left alone..
my cries wont be heard..
coz itz deep down inside..
*i wanna break my head..
hit it so hard on the wall..
i wanna hold ur hand but i cant..
coz ur too far away from me..
*no hopes from u i noe..
not even one to say u love me..
i know and i heard u said..
we're not meant to be
*im stupid to put hopes..
im crazy to let u noe..
im out of my mind wen it comes to you..
how stupid am i to let u noe..
*now as days past..
im torturing myself to get my mind off u..
i'll force myself to hate you..
i'll force myself to forget u..
*songs reminds me of u..
dreaming makes me think of you..
singing makes me cry for you..
to die im not sure i'll do it for you..
*not only u i hate..
i have loads to hate..
tonnes of flowers i shall burn..
to make me happy and wish not to return..
*my eyes..
my heart..
my feelings hurt..
my tears,my pain,my headaches to suffer..
to forget and leave you..
to hate you and to dislike..
though itz hard and difficult..
i still have to break my heart..
Skulls are love'd