today..she called!she juz woke up..shes not well..ok..dun wanna say much abt her..im making myself crazy...let her hear the song i sang..before she went bck to slp again..she werking morning tmrw..im goin scouts tmrw..hmm..how many days nvr see her oready..miscount..guess both my twin said it right..too crius too soon..katit pon said tht..too serius too soon..i dunno la..it sux to have this feeling..but i still do it..

yesterdae..had to go bck to sch..bcoz taufik batisah came..wat the fuck..sang 3 monkey song n thts it..thts wat he call the anti-smoking campaign?wat the hell..more like promoting his new album n his party in april..singapore idol cum liar..

amilia

went to bugis wit sara n nya n farhanah..kwn saniah frm clss d..i was in no mood..but dey cheer me up..my stupid ezlink was spoilt..so stupid ezlink..i wanna kill david!!!

amilia

haizzzz................

amilia..
i miss her..i miss u..

this few daes in the ward..i learn more abt the E.N's job..fareed is responsible..i made a few mistakes but some i manage to escape..hehe..chart wrongly la..i juz had to re-do..sux..i feel more busy nowadaes in the ward..i feel the sense of belonging..im strting to love nursing..mayb itz juz the real me..

people keep asking me y i put eye-liner..y ah?weird izit?now i feel like sumtings missing if i dun put on my eye-liner..i went to werk for 2 days witout my eye-liner..n it feels weird..so so weird..like my face so plain..

i cant b botherd la..itz me..i wanna it to b tht way..

i quoted this last nyte..."life..its full of choices..its u who have to make those choices.."

truth-good charlotte

so here we are..
we are alone..
theres weight on ur mind..
and i wanna noe..
the truth..
if this is how u feel..
juz say it to me..
if this was ever real?

i want the truth frm u..
give me the truth..
even if it hurts me..
i want the truth frm u..
give me the truth..
even if it hurts me..

i want the truth..
so this is you...
u talking to me..
u'll find a million ways to let me dwn..
so im not hurt wen u're not arnd..
i was blind..
but now i see..
this is how u feel..
juz say it to me..
if this was ever real?

i want the truth frm u..
give me the truth..
even if it hurts me..
i want the truth frm u..
give me the truth..
even if it hurts me..

i noe this might hurt me..
i noe tht this might make me cry..
gota say wats on ur mind..on ur mind..
i noe tht this might hurt me..
and break my heart and soul inside..
i dun wanna live this lie..

i want the truth frm u..
give me the truth..
even if it hurts me..
i want the truth frm u..
give me the truth..
even if it hurts..
i dont care no more no..
juz give me the truth..
give me the truth..
give me the truth..
coz i dun care no more..
give me the truth..
give me the truth..
coz i dun care no more no........

2nd last day of march..

she has been so quiet this few days..her rarely rplies..did i scare her away?
haiz..wen we talk..itz like im talking to a stranger whom i juz got to noe..she seems cant be bothered..thts wat i assumed..but i duno..ive always been assuming the wrong tings..i duno wat else to do..i dun wanna give up now..i still wanna keep trying..still wanna wait..but i need the truth..i still love her..amyl..
mayb she really is not well..or mayb..she is slowly fading away frm me?all this again..?haiz..im not well..but who cares..i dun care myself..she?i duno..i noe she cares..but not anymore i think..
my frens..no where to be contacted..bz wit their own stuffs until late n nyte den call me..
who do i have..my twin is sick..
i want amyl..but she cant be there for me 24/7 she said..
"ape u..kenape u mcm emo je lateli?itz lyke ure xpctin..............................."
tht break me up..whaat a qn to ask?itz coz i love u so much..thts y im so.............haiz..but u juz cant be there for me all the time..coz u got.......haiz..i juz dun wanna say it..
the truth is i only have u now..thts y im like this..i m so crazy..besides GOD..my family..u..yes u amyl comes aftr all tht..but i try to make u more imprtnt than the rest..
i wake up..check my fone..to see ur sms..but instead i got nothing frm u..
after werk i check my fone..to see ur sms..but wat do i see?i see my wallpaper..

r u trying to get urself away frm me?running away?fading awae slowly coz other guys interest u more than i do..mayb they got cuter smiles..haiz..im totally out of my mind..im crying inside out..but no one cud hear me..i noe tht ur in dilemma wit lotsa other guys after u...but..u...haiz..i juz duno how to say it..why mus u make me fall in love wit u..n den tell me to take tings slow after tht..i mean..i can take it tht way..but u told u love me and all..den now u say.....and ur not over ur past..at times i feeel how i wish i wudnt have known u..or even the rest..at the strt..i really cant be bothered abt this whole dance thingy..the comp and all..the poster was juz my aim to finish..i didnt want to make new frens..coz I CANT BE BOTHERED...but wen i see u..i see light..i slowly make frens wit the rest so tht i wont be seen to only be making frens wit you..i strted to have feelings for u..n i juz cudnt keep it to myself..so i decided to tell u..then tings go on well and everyting was juz fine till the comp dae comes..and come n come..den it ended n now is this coming to an end too..u keeping silence..no calls..no rplies frm u..i understnd ur feelings abt wanting to make people happy..and not wanting to hurt..but..haiz...i guess i have to go thru this patiently..i wanna cry...



lastnyte..i didnt sleep..how abt tonyte?m i sleeping?m i?not sure..now my stomach is empty..since my last break..well the most im really gona look dead tmrw..can i juz collasped sumwhere..??im breaking dwn..i force myself to stop all my nonsense juz for u..stop my flirting..for the sake of you..for the sake of being sincere..i forget my regretful love story juz to make sure tht u dun remind me of her..or my past..i want a new life..not to live wit my past..now tht ur doin this to me..i feel like ll this keep happening to me..the same thing..again n again n again..once i fall in love the gerls sure got their reasons...haiz..i wanna cry..can i cut myself..scar myself..

IM ALONE...no U..no U..no U.............

"All About Loving You"

Looking at the pages of my life.Faded memories of me and you.Mistakes you know I've made a few.I took some shots and fell from time to time.Baby, you were there to pull me throughWe've been around the block a time or two.I'm gonna lay it on the line.Ask me how we've come this far.The answer's written in my eyes

[Chorus:]Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new.That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more.I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time.When I look at what my life's been comin' to.I'm all about lovin' you

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues, baby.We've been to hell and back again.Through it all you're always my best friend.For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do.Tonight I'm gonna find a way

[Chorus:]Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new.That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more.I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time.When I look at what my life's been comin' to.I'm all about lovin' you

You can take this world away.You're everything I am.Just read the lines upon my face.I'm all about lovin' you

[Chorus:]Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new.That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more.I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time.When I look at what my life's been comin' to.I'm all about lovin' you

All about lovin' you

dedicated to amyl...
it really is for you..
:,,(

i never thot we'd go this far..i never knew you'd stil be here..you smiles cud stil be seen..your laughter i stil cud hear..your tears i still feel..i thot theres other better guys out there..i noe i somehow dun deserve u..coz at times u do mention in tht way to..but i dun care..but i do..im sure..unsure abt ur feelings towards me..you're confused..i am too..i dunno to trust..but i stil do..i keep ur werds..coz i take it positively..how i wsih love was so much easier..to be captured and kept inside..to be sealed and locked..ur heart for me and im for yours..nobody cud get in and destroy the castle..our dreams..

sumtimes i think ive said too much..to express this deep feelings inside..to tell u tht i love u evrytime..it may have got u sick of it..im not sure..but still.i keep thinkingtht theres light..a pathway for us to walk..side by side..but again..it takes 2 hands to clap..but i gues im only claping one side of mine..

hey..itz a thurs morning..and im werking in afternoon..
things have been well so far for me...love life has oways been the same..wen trying to get to noe sum1..founds out tht she has sum1 else.."im so sick of love songs..."thts the pain ful part...once i get sum1 to like and love..she moves on wit sumbody..

hey there..
im back..im glad tht things has been better than before..at least im smiling now..shes back..amilia..amilia's back..yeah shes back..dun go plz...plz dun go away..plz stay..
im glad to hear her laughter back again..see her smile..talk to her on the fone..im so very glad..
sorry tht ive been writing lots abt u my dear..i dun tink i'll stop posting abt you..muackz!!

ok...last week...shs was fun..(sch health service)the pri sch...bedok green pri..cute2 sey..hmm..got sweet little girls too..i sound like a psycho now.. i forgot the werd..a person who "loves" little kids..
sec sch..greenview sec..hmm..gerls were talking abt me..thts wat kak wani the EN said..i cant be bothered..i have one in mind..so i'll stick to one..
the nxt two days after tht at day care centre for the elderly..itz actualli a rehabilitative centre..it was ok..but boring..i went to slp lotsa times...but few of the clients were ok..some adorable...the SISTER...sucks..but she was ok to me...not to my other 4 frens..i find her big fuck!!nvm..lucky itz over..

monday 13/3..i got physiotherapy..wat m i gona do...?wondering..
wow..the money's gonna come in this week...tues i werking at 5..wed kul 4..thurs havent confem..fri i werking aftrnoon shift so i lazy..sat 7 am..sun 11am..yeah..moreover im collecting my last pay at the fucking raffles plaza hotel..i m so gona blow out at david's face..i make sure hes gonna suffer werking there..hes rice bowl sure gonna break one day..fuck him..i m so happy..
letme see...im gonna settle my debt..the fone i bought frm my fren..and lastly..im gonna enrol to my motor lessons soon..yahoo!!!!!

hmm..n Amilia is back..im glad tht shes back..im so happy..smiling everydae..i sound crazy..i think i m crazy..hehehe...

tmrw..long day for me..morning will be having soccer..but dunno i get chance to play or not..den got to attend a jemputan..den got religious clss..i hope i'll be meeting Amilia tmrw..i wanna!!AKU MAU!!!!!

haha..gtg..better slp..tk bangun bsok mati guek!!
gdnytey nyte2..muackz!!for Amilia

seventh/march
..no amilia...no baby..no dear..no darls..no..hmmm...she dun mention she miss me anymore...things juz chnge after tht day..after i got to noe abt her...things has nvr been the same..i duno whether i shud be sad abt it..im trying to be very patience abt this situation..
i miss her...i miss my AMILIA ADNAN..

ive not been eating well..everythings tht goes in comes out again..i guess i miss her so bad...im really sorry abt wat happened today..i was so worried abt u..im so concern..i look so pale..izit bcoz of the lotions or...i duno...

I MISS AMILIA ADNAN

im goin thru troubles now..probs after probs..i guess i juz have to go thru all this..like wat she said.."mungkin ade hikmah disebalik semue ini..."..i trust her words..i cant let her go..and i cant even bother to look for other gerls...n i cant simply forget her..haiz..everytime im in love things happen..is this sumthing i mus go thru evrytime i fall in love...
hmm..i have to be strong for her..no negative thots of her since i trust her so much..aku tknk dikate org memandang serong kepade org lain..den pple wud think tht im bad..hmm..i gave chance..i trusted her..so i have to tell myself tht nothing is wrong..evrythings olrite..evrythings fine..shes fine..i love her..i love her so much..itz been few days i nvr see her..sms..kdg2 she tk rply..mayb bz?haiz..nvm la..if things dun werk out..i guess im juz gonna the way i am..im willing to chnge my way for my loved ones...frm gothic to simple ones..but why wen i chge..things chnge too..
i noe i have to endure this..i understnd wats shes going thru..i have to understnd..if i love her so much..i have to endure..eventhough shes not the only fish in the pond..i see sumthing between us..but not as frens..Amilia Adnan...
haiz...

I MISS YOU..

hmm...today..evrything went right..all were so right..i said sumthing wrong..damn..my fault..
im strting to love her..like her..have feelings for her..damn..i m so bad..baby..sorry..im really2 sorry..i feel so bad..haiz..i think shes still mad at me..im so dead..
im doin sumthing for her..i feel so bad..adoi!!i so hate myself..baby..im so so sorry..i mean it..
im down on my knees..please baby..FORGIVE ME..
i m so goin to do sumthing abt this..lets do sumthing for her..
for now..im trying to get to know her better..love her more..n learn abt her feelings..ive learnt my lesson..

AIrI lOvEs mIlIA

Bukhari's the name.Just call me BUK
22(05FEB87)
Complicated
Loyang,Dunman,ITE Nursing,RifleMan,CGH
Aquarius|Emo|Irritating

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#Love friends
#i am whatever you say i am

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