-Sunday, April 16, 2006-5:41:00 PM Y
yesterdae..i went for scouts in the morning..they had their meeting at sunplaza park..did some bbq..haha..
afternoon..i went back ..nap..woke up at 5 when i was suppose to meet my frens at 5..but i wasnt late ah..
lotsa feasting todae..ate alot wit desmond n the rest of them..i think i help desmond escape frm idzhar..always being bulied by idz..but now its as though desmond is closer to me..pity him..
back to back..i went to man chalet..more to eat..fiza..aib..mizy..lin..man..jay..yat..nysha..n ayid..nice to see them..i think aib miss me..haha..wat a creep..haiz..brothers..i love y'all..i only have u guys wen i got no one to turn to..no shoulder to cry on..ur oways arnd..sumtimes girls are not worth more than all of u..u guys are worth it!!!we had a shisha session..n i had fun..
amilia..she called me in the aftrnn..shes sick..but ltr at nyte she called again..shes out n sounds better..but late at nyte wen i called her..shes sick..mayb she jus need to be out..baby..
16/4/2006
today..shes goin out..watch movie..wit who?hmm..not me..she got plans...shes right..itz as though she dunhave time for me..everytime i ask her out she got her own plans...like 2 weeks ago..she was waiting for sumone to cal her..not me..haiz..sumtimes i feel useless..today im depresed..y cant she juz stay hm wen her mum need her..n cancel her movie wit tht otha guy..i duno who..but why cant she meet me last fri mayb b4 or after visiting her grand dad at the hosp at least..m i thinking of myself..im not assuming tht shes selfish or wat la..but ...haiz..i juz duno how to say it..i try to keep myself free frm everything..so tht i cud spent time wit her..but ..shes always not there in end..n either i have to look for my twin..or juz do it on my own..but wen she gota noe im alone she gets mad n tell me tht i seeking for attention..which i dun think i m..ive oways been like this..like being alone to ease my mmind..but i dun forget my loved ones..i no longer do stupid things..cut myself..break a bone..except tht at times i hit my head on the wall to clear my mind but actually itz still the same..i feel like giving up..but shes all i have now..shes the one im in love wit..i dun haave heart for other girls..
she misses me..thts wat she said..im touched...i wanna see her..i wanna meet her..i want her..3 weeks i guess..i nvr see her..
shes diff..things really chge aftr the stupid competition(i wish i wasnt even involve)..talking to her on da fone she cud be mad..n she cud be happy..she cud be moody..restless..haiz..
:,,,(
i miss my b...
Amilia
this morning..i had a nytemare..i dreamt tht i tore apart my whole back..cutting every single skin on my back..wats it abt?haiz..
i guess God noes how i feel..im cried on my prayer mat..then it rained..
haiz...