I'm in the mood for some Jackass Action!!!!!!

Well guess what?!
I got my place in CGH..
Will have to sign a contract next week that if I'm permitted to leave camp to do so..

Last week has been in and out and in and out of camp..My interview went on great though..Was almost late but I made it..So no worries..

The new work with Didi wasn't that bad..It's tiring though..But all I have to do is push for sales..Easy ain't it??
I've earned 105bux so far..

Everything is going on fine..
But Starhub has to spoil my month all the time..My line got cut off again..Fuck Starhub!!

I've just finished reading my old old old old posts.....

Now i feel no better..

The things i see from the past till now,there's no change at all.

I'm putting all the burden on me..ain't it?

I'm sorry that i didn't realized it.
It's June and i just realized that its 3 months past the 2 years anniversary.
I just didn't see it all.

Blinded by problems.
Blinded by love.
Blinded by complications.

I've got UTI.
Yet i'm still not sure if it's gonna cure soon.
Since everyone might have known about it through my Facebook.
I'm just gonna say it on my Blog now.

Diseased.Crazy.Temperamental.Stupid.Dumb.Shit head.Psycho.Useless.Good for nothing.Irritating.Annoying.Emo.Coward.No money.No brain.Heartless.Idiot.Ugly.Shameless.Heartless.Jerk.

What more can i say?
I am what i am.

Flirt..Sweet talker mother fucker..

So i might be thinking...I sleep around a lot too.
I sell myself to girls..I would sleep with anyone..
When i see Pussy that means I'm gonna FUCK...

Guess that's how i get diseased.

Isn't that living the rock star lifestyle.?

How I wish I really could go somewhere and get my identity changed.
And be somebody else.

Barkers Bits

Money,money,money.
Money make the world goes around.


$$$$$$$$$

3 more months to go to ORD!

Counting down the days to the day that i'm going to return to my normal civilian lifestyle..
Going back into Nursing to continue pursuing what i have passion on..
to help take care of people when they are sick and let them get well as soon as possible..

See how these life would turn out into..
More life at risk..
Even mine..
Not only dealing with patients..
But also Politics at work..Girls..I mean Nurses..The female species especially...
I just don't know..

If it gets harder i might want to go back to the Army..
Or maybe volunteer myself with the U.N..
It would be a dream come true though..

Till then,i shall not think so much...

Looking forward to Dinner & Dance..
Looking forward to AHM..
Looking forward to Army Open house..
Looking forward to a job that's awaiting for me out there..

Goodnight!

I've been feeling horrible myself about what's happening..Just making myself feel better by going out and treating my life like i don't owe anyone a living..
Actually i don't..right?

I'm glad PJ was patient and got my advice clearly in her head..
I'm happy the way we are right now.I don't feel like I'm being forced to say "I love you" or "I miss you"..
It just have to come naturally..She got it right..Damn right..

Unlike someone.Who tries to understand something that she doesn't understand at all..
I do pity her..I do love her though..I do wanna work things out with her..But she's way too stubborn..And just wouldn't listen..How could i do any help if someone just won't listen..right??

Welcome to my simple yet complicated love life......

It was kinda upsetting bad things happen back to back..
Well i thought the thing in the morning would only be the only thing that would spoil my day..
But then,there just have to be another frustrating incident in the afternoon..

The competition was kinda grand because i've never been through this kind of competition before..
My group never got that far before..

Missed the first 2 performance..
Still..
It was damn nice..

Yenbo Je..
Emerge the Champions..
Didn't manage to catch their performance..
They even "bolot" most of the Individual Categories..
Like example,Senikata Terbaik,Paluan Terbaik,Awok-awok Terbaik & Juara Terbaik.
Never heard of them though..
But they did good..

Andika..
My all-time Favourite only manage to clinch 2nd place..
Very the Creative & funny too..
They were building these Lego toy..
Passing from one to the other...
Then the one who passed the toy would then continue with the "ragam"..
So Super-Duper Wickedly Awesome!

Third place goes to Dendang Mutiara..
Is it a credit to them?
Im not so sure either..
There was nothing much i see in them as i see in Keris,Panjy or even Chu chu Datok Merah..
A farewell treat i guess?
Well the judges verdict is final..

Congrats to all the teams that have made it!!
For brothers from Keris,Panjy,Chuchu Datok Merah..etc..
Don't be disheartened.
There's always next time..

All the best!

Hidup Dikir!

Finally..I've managed to upload the pics..

this song never fail to make me cry..
the giving in is so killing me...

this song makes me feels so lonely..what wrong did i do to deserve such treatment..what's that she's had enough with??

things keep happening the way it's happening..again and again..darn it's such a big headache..keep saying "hello" and "goodbye"...

won't you just get sick of that too?

"hari ini aku kene maki..
hari semalam kau dah kene.."

so..
let's just get on with life..
i dont wanna bother you..
well you keep saying those things..
but you ended looking for me to sing to you..
what love song?
one stupid love song?
i can't do this anymore..
but i don't know why i'm tolerating this from you..


the reason Yana keep saying is..
"we're Aquarius BUK,that's why we tolerate.."
hehhe..cute one yana..


goodnight!

It has been a few months that I'm back with PJ..
Months after that,she just has to slap me with things that should no be bothering us anymore..I just hate it when I want confession but they keep saying no more confession..but later keep hving doubts about me when actually it's them living their life is guilt..but I'm the one who of blamed over something I didn't do..

So much for trust and this is what I get..why should I trust then??

It's been months trying to convince her that I want get badly and I wanted her to be mine..but she keep doubting me..
Pj came back into the picture..I did look for her to check on her once in a while actually..just worried about her..

Months past..things starts to change..my feelings too..I've been waiting fir liza for 4months like an idiot..and all those times she kept doubting me..about girls..

The funny thing is that when I'm serious people just don't see it..like what the hell laaaa!keep saying that I'm cheating on her when I wasn't web her boyfriend yet..but whenever I said something serious..she'll say "we're just friends what..why are you so serious?"..what us that supposed to mean la eh?I don't get it la eh..u said u didn't treat me like trash?do I like have to repeat the whole story again??

I'm damn pissed till now..I do still love her..but shea not giving me time and space..been forcing me into these and that..why?why now?

Nov 1st..
I met liza..at her workplace..they were having this Halloween thingy..
Things went on..then I broke up with pj..thinking things would be better and she could have a freedom..
Well she did made full good use of it though..ok..what's past is past..it between me and her.

Things went on smoothly between liza and me..till the day that we found out that she was my cousin's cousin..damn..
After all these,she has to be someone almost related to me..like what the hell!!haiz

Things started to get complicated soon.it seems that she's not taking me serioously..but always accusing me of things that I'm not doing..
First,she intro me as her friend..then I become the cousin..I was pissed of course..

My mc ended on Tuesday..so I went back to camp that evening..
I went to meet moon,wan & miZy at zamzam..
The favourite makan place..
We are just addicted to the Murtabak there..hehe

Then we went over to Bugis to do some window shopping..the place seems new..I didn't realize what have changed..
Saw Shida behind the Bugis village..hehe..
She said "so sharp ah your eyes?"..hahaha..

Then back to 2nd home..home sweet home..

We all woke up late for breakfast..haha..funny sia..it was raining..that's why no one woke up..
The 5km run was cancelled..*sigh*..just thought that I could test my timing..
I made $6 that day for cutting hair..I was hoping that I've could have made more..
But no one came after that..soccer in the evening!
Thursday wasn't that bad either..it rained again in the morning..so we went up to resume our own training..hehe
Heard that there was gonna be Route March in the afternoon..I still went on to do it though I'm having some injuries..wow!!
So proud of myself..I still manage to pull through after a year or so that I've not been marching..the last one was like the 24km..
Then I didn't do it anymore due to injuries..
Everyones jaw dropped when they saw me going down with the FBO..so funny..well..I had fun eventhough my Kakis didn't walk..
Thanks to vincent,Ming foo,Wei hong,jie Wei..& others whom I didn't get to mention..they brighthen my gloomy day..
I laughed my lungs out with them..hehe

*gonna miss them loads when we ORD in 3months time..*

Booked out..and it was like.."wah!2 days in camp & now going home already.."hhahagahah
What a life..keep clearing off..

Things are not working out..I don't wanna work it out with her..but I'm doing all possible ways to get her out of by life....h

i have been on a long week out of camp..clearing off and now on mc..due to some personal reasons..

it has been a long week for me to think over whats bothering me in life..
one week seems not to be enough..i don't know i need to clear my mind..it's giving me a big headache..heartache..whatever the aching is about..it's all aching..

well i got to catch up with some old mates from secondary schools to ite..

i started being so healthy..
jogging and working out at home and around the neighbbourhood..
very healthy..i even ran in the rain..it was very nice that evening..

then i keep going out meeting my fellow secondary school friend.well we got hings clear that i'm just around to help her with her art stuff..i'm glad that we don't get any wrong ideas over the meet up..

then someone else from ite..haha..the mysterious lady..didnt know her ame till i talked to her online..then i figured out who she was actually..haha..after all these while trying to wonder who is these particular girl from CGH that i've been hearing about..finally is solved..very mysterious...hehe
we just talked on the phone for a while..well i dont think i'm going to meet her..maybe for one time to a rock concert..

then on friday..i went out with my god-sister after friday prayers..and i became the subject for her project..i'm the model..and i was stalked badly...hehe..well seh had fun making me the idiot though..good for her..and all the best on her final piece..

my bestfriend's birthday surprise wasn't that bad either..he was shocked that i was there..and she came tagging along with me..but i wasn't too sure why..i figured after that..someone's heart was broken..i'm sorry about that..well it was time that the truth has to be revealed..

i lied to a couple of people around ..here there..just to get my space..i really don't know what i'm turning into..living a life full of lies..

to those that have known what have been going on ...u deserve the credits for being there for me..

i'm in total mess..

can i just get myself a memory remover?
could it be true that i would go out there to erase my identity?i know this is too much..
i just wanna get out of this life..

tell..me..what is wrong with me?is it wrong for me to apologize..?is it wrong for me to say that i'm sorry..what's got into this world..?no more forgiveness?

i just want to apologize for what i've done in the past..
my time may come anytime..
not say that i'm going to die tomorrow..
but what's the harm of saying sorry..

now im going to say it..
im sorry..
im sorry to all..
im sorry to mum and dad for not being a very good son..
im sorry my ex's that i've been lack of anything..
im sorry to myself for not caring for myself enough..
im sorry to my friends if i've ever been so annoying,so irritating,so lots of everything..
im sorry.
im sorry.
im sorry.
im sorry.

Bukhari's the name.Just call me BUK
22(05FEB87)
Complicated
Loyang,Dunman,ITE Nursing,RifleMan,CGH
Aquarius|Emo|Irritating

#Love to draw
#Love to sing
#Love to write
#theBLEEDs
#Love friends
#i am whatever you say i am

Eddy
SarahAmnah
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